Online Couples Counseling

Strengthening your relationship

Couples work is at the center of my practice. I use the Gottman Method, along with ideas from attachment theory, to help partners talk more openly, handle disagreements with less damage, and bring warmth and closeness back into the relationship.

Why choose couples counseling?

Love alone does not keep a relationship running smoothly. Most couples I see are caring people stuck in patterns they cannot seem to break on their own. You might recognize some of these:

• Conversations that go sideways before you get to the point.
• Arguments that are frequent, heated or hard to recover from.
• Big reactions to what may be a simple misunderstanding.
• Living side by side but feeling far apart.
• Less affection or intimacy than either of you wants.
• Broken trust, including after infidelity.
• Major changes, like a new baby or a move, that shake up your routines.

In our sessions you learn concrete skills for repairing trust, working through disagreements and reconnecting, and then you practice them with each other.

What to expect

No two couples are alike, so I shape the work around the two of you. In general, it looks like this:

• Getting to know you. Our first session focuses on how your relationship works, what is going well, and where things get stuck.
• Setting goals. We agree on clear, realistic goals that matter to both of you and that we can actually measure.
• Building skills. You learn new ways to communicate, handle conflict and build emotional closeness.
• Practice and follow-through. Sessions are usually weekly, which gives you time to try new habits at home, bring back what happened, and see how far you have come.

Real change comes from the two of you working on it together, with me there to guide the process.

How the Gottman Method helps

The Gottman Method gives couples a clear map. The aim is to create more good moments between you, cut down on the exchanges that hurt, and understand what your partner needs emotionally.

We pay close attention to four patterns Gottman calls the “Four Horsemen”: criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling. Once you can spot them, you can learn gentler ways to raise a concern, respond to each other and stay in the conversation.

Anger and conflict are often a way of protecting yourself, so we look at what sits underneath them. We also put real effort into friendship, respect and affection, because trust grows from those. Two tools you will likely use are “bids for connection,” the small ways partners reach for each other every day, and “dreams within conflict,” the hopes and values hidden inside an argument that keeps coming back. Both help you actually understand each other, instead of arguing until you are worn out or going silent and getting nowhere.

William’s training in couples work

Couples therapy is the part of the practice I am most passionate about. I have completed Gottman Method Couples Therapy training at Levels 1, 2 and 3, and I bring more than 20 years of experience as a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, including work in foster care and adoption, with families under stress, and on a multidisciplinary team at UCLA. I also draw on attachment theory, because how we learned to connect early in life often shows up in how we fight, withdraw or reach for each other today.

Couples counseling online

Most of my couples meet with me by secure video. You and your partner join from home, ideally side by side on one screen in a room where you can talk privately. There is no drive across the Valley after work, no arranging a babysitter for the whole evening, and no waiting room. Many couples find it easier to open up in their own space.

• What you need. A laptop or tablet with a camera, a stable internet connection and a private room. Headphones help if others are home.
• Privacy. Sessions use a HIPAA-compliant video platform, and you receive a private link before each session.
• Prefer to meet in person? Sessions are also available at my office on Maclay Ave in San Fernando.

Terapia de pareja en español

Ofrezco terapia de pareja en español, en inglés o en una mezcla de los dos, según lo que sea más cómodo para ustedes. Muchas parejas hablan un idioma en casa y otro en el trabajo. En la sesión pueden expresarse en el idioma que les salga del corazón.